As we approach Valentine’s Day, it is important to remember to immerse those we love in what they crave most- challenging works of art that test the existence of the relationship! Whether it’s taking your second girlfriend to the February 14th opening of (eventual Best Picture winner) The Silence Of The Lambs, or serenading that special someone with the sweet sounds of ‘Jordan, Minnesota’ by Big Black, I think we can all agree that romance is something best tested by pervasive, concussive exposure to serious art.
“I love your glass, baby!”
Keeping that sentiment in mind, here are five graphic novel recommendations that might just put the ‘love’ back in “I’d love to never see you again. Why would you show me this?” If you find that special someone who loves these books as much as you will, you’ll know you’ve got a keeper!
- We can all agree that we love animals, right? The companionship a good dog or cat can provide can bring comfort, security, even delight in the harshest of times. A lot of people will even say they’d pick animals over people any day of the week. If you’ve got THAT animal lover in your life, put that theory to the test and give them a copy of the 2021 classic ‘Stray Dogs’ by Tony Fleecs and Trish Forstner. Now sure, there might be concerns, issues, a drag-out fight when Sally Sweetie or Tommy Terrific finds out that these pups are being rescued from the site of their owners’ murders by the murderer himself. I get that.
“…but their owners aren’t as lucky.”
They also may feel well and truly tricked since the art is clean cel animation style work that will not leave them prepared in the slightest for what they’re going to read, but trust me, if this book was drawn with any degree of visual realism, we’d all be on the floor crying from page 12 on, and nobody wants that.
- What’s cuter than animals? Babies! Maybe you’re so far along in a wonderful relationship that you might be thinking of bringing new life into the world. If so, a great primer on child rearing can be found in “Did You Hear What Eddie Gein Done?” by Eric Powell and Harold Schechter. Finding the right person to raise a family with is important, and you’ll want someone with the warm heart and open arms of an Augusta Gein to be by your side, I’ll tell you what. Following her careful rearing technique will help bring along a bundle of joy that someone just might base the next The Texas Chainsaw Massacre on.
(“actual inspiration”) Perfect for your fella that you want to scare into celibacy, or your lady that you just want to act more like ‘mother’. Read it as a couple and be ready to have that apartment finder app ready to go when you finish.
- Speaking of children…you know who loves them? That’s right, child murderers! Garth Ennis and Goran Sudzuka have an excellent one in the antagonist in their 2019 horror show ‘A Walk Through Hell’. Paul Carnahan’s actions are enough to make a good cop go bad, well, several cops, go awfully bad.
(“Like this, but less bad.”) This morality play is the sort of thing that can bring you down for weeks after you’ve read it, in bed, fetal position, and that caring Karen or giving Gary left to watch the joy drain out of your relationship. The easiest way around that is to enjoy the entry of the devil into man’s domain TOGETHER. Whatever theological punches Ennis left unthrown in Preacher are addressed here in far less uplifting ways.
- Religion of a sort is center stage in our next collection,’ Providence.’ Alan Moore uses all his wits to collect things Lovecraft wrote about and fold them into something resembling a less attractive omelet. To say this is an “Everything You Know Is Wrong!” story might be just a bit limited as the fabrics of reality are torn and rewoven into something unwilling to keep mankind as a leading participant. Sure to drive a divisive wedge between you and the Amy Grant/Stryper fan in your life.
(“Pack it up, you southie trash!”) Don’t forget to have the argument where one of you believes that Alan Moore can do no wrong, and one of you believes there’s a massive hypocritical element to his use of other writers’ ideas and characters while he moans on about people using his in real time. Why have one fight when there’s at least two easily at hand?
- Lastly, we have a true love story-the story of the love between Brian Michael Bendis…and a serial killer from Cleveland. ‘Torso’ is the very true story of the final case of Elliot Ness. You don’t know who Elliot Ness is? That alone should be enough to get the verbal venom going with your soon to be untouchable. Elliot Ness is the man who brought down Al Capone. After that case, he lived the unremarkable life of a g-man before settling in as the safety director of Cleveland. His timing couldn’t have been worse as he moved into the position just as America’s first serial killer was being discovered. I bet you can’t guess where. With all the wonder of a child, Ness and his team of local law enforcement found torso after torso after torso.
(“Elliot Ness, shown here with Rachel Dratch”) You see, the killer took the heads. Took the hands. Took more, sometimes. What they were reliable for was leaving a torso. Bendis worked on this story for years with Marc Andreyko, and you’ll see many Bendisisms working their way out here. Does your shimmering Sharon hate talking heads? She’ll be riled beyond repair. Does your chattering Chadworth simply despise open ended stories? He’ll be beside himself with the soft resolution here. Should either one of you feel that a little cartoonist should even be allowed to attempt a Cedar Point version of From Hell, I simply can’t imagine I’d like to be in that car driving back from dinner.
“Maybe the problem is you…”
So that’s that. That’s your Joy Division slate for 2022. Your chewing with your mouth open, in comic form. Take a moment, pull your loved one close, and tell them “Hey babe. I’m going to make it weird…for YOU.” They should love that, and they’ll certainly love you for it, even as the police help you pack.
