Official Handbook 7
Annihilation Ronan 4
Panther 18 Incentive Cover
Civil War Front Line 4
Civil War Young Avengers Runaways 1
New Avengers 22
52 Week 12
Crisis Aftermath The Spectre 3
JLA Classified 25
JSA Classified 14
Jack of Fables 1
Neil Gaiman’s Neverwhere 8
Scriptbook 5 art cover
Scriptbook 5 photo cover
Angel Spotlight Doyle Cover A
Spotlight Doyle Cover B
Spotlight Doyle Cover C
Spotlight Doyle Cover D
Spotlight Doyle Incentive Cover
Darkness 9 Cover A
Darkness 9 Cover B
Darkness 9 Cover C
Darkness 9 Cover D
Darkness 9 Cover Sneek Peek Incentive Cover
Darkness 9 Virgin Incentive Cover
Pope Color 9
Plague 1 Previews Cover
Plague 1 Graham Crackers Exclusive Cover
Castle Waiting vol. II #1
Corporate Ninja 3
Highlander 0 Incentive Cover
Jeremiah Harm 4
Killer 7 #4
Lady Death Shi Preview
Lullaby 4 Incentive Cover
Meat Cake 15
Mouse Guard 2 (2nd Print)
Red Sonja 12 Jim Lee Cover
Red Sonja 12 George Perez Cover
Red Sonja 12 Rubi Incentive Cover
Road to Hell 1
Savage Dragon 0
She Dragon 1
Dracula 4 joe coroney cover
Dracula 4 zach howard cover
Spike vs. Dracula 4
sean murphy cover
Dracula 4 eric wright cover
Spike vs. Dracula 4 Incentive Photo Cover
Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic 7
Strangers in Paradise 83
Tales of Leonardo Blind Sight 2
Tarot Witch of the Black Rose 39
Transformers Generations 5 Cover A
Transformers Generations 5 Cover B
War of the Worlds Second Wave 5
fabiano neves tan cover
incentive sketch cover
Cromartie High School vol. 7
Trigun Maximum vol. 9
TRADES & HARDCOVERS
30 Days of Night 3 Tales
But I Like It HC
America Red Menace
Clerks II The Screenplay
Head vol. 3.0
of Doom HC
Hellblazer All His Engines SC
Love as a Foreign Language Omnibus vol. 1
Marvel Masterworks Captain America vol. 3 HC
Excalibur vol. 1
Polly & the Pirates
Silent Hill Dead/Alive
Clone Wars vol. 9
Titans vol. 5
Woman Mission's End
Buffy Magazine 26 Newsstand Cover
Buffy Magazine 26 Previews Cover
Juxtapoz Aug 2006
Newtype English 104
Rough Stuff 1
Power Pack Assemble 4
Network Block Party 23
Futurama Comics 26
Nancy Drew vol. 6
Sonic X 11
Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane 8
Tales From Riverdale Digest 13
Teen Titans Go 33
Uncle Scrooge 356
Walt Disney Comics 671
All Star Batman and Robin Statue
Bome vol. 11 Jungle Emi
Punisher First Appearance Statue
...special all-zero episode...
You read a comic book and talk to your friends.
We, color commentator
DAL BUSH and play-by-play man
PATRICK BROWER, read a comic book and talk to each other,
all for YOUR benefit. After all, without our opinions, you'd just have to
rely on your own!
W. DAL: Finished all your
PATRICK: I have... in the brand new GC Lounge.
W. DAL: The what, now?
PATRICK: The GC Lounge, located on the mezzanine of the luxurious
Downtown Chicago Graham Crackers Comics. It's totally SWEET!
W. DAL: Oh. Slick.
PATRICK: Lounge chair, reading lamp, radio, water cooler, all the things
you need to forget you're at work.
W. DAL: See, I call stuff like that "comic
books". Y'know, like this week's Justice League Of America #0. Hey! Here's a
crazy idea! Why don't we review it? As long as we aren't waking you, cupcake...
W. DAL: And "thinmgs" is the proper tense of
"things" in that sentence.
W. DAL: "longe" is way off, though.
PATRICK: No, no, I already came back downstairs to this wretched machine,
so we might as well be productive. And I’ve corrected the previous spelling
errors so no one has any idea what you’re talking about.
W. DAL: FINE! Here we go. Justice League of
America #... wait, am I supposed to capitalize the "of"? Anyway. #0.
PATRICK: Zero, being appropriate, as zero is the number of complains I
have with this issue's story.
W. DAL: Aww, don't be modest. I'm sure we'll
both find a few things to dislike. About this comic, specifically. Otherwise I'd
never shut up...
PATRICK: This is exactly what a zero issue should be; a set-up of things
to come but at the same time defining WHY there's to be a Justice League.
PATRICK: Someone (Matt Streets) asked me if I was familiar with all the
eras that the story jumps to, and with the obvious exception of all the future
stuff, I was. And not because I'm any kind of JLXpert, I'm not, but Brad Meltzer
clearly IS so he can focus on the events that meant the most to the three core
W. DAL: Yeah, I got all choked up at my
misty, watercolor memories of those classic (and Detroit) era of the League. But
I don't know. I'm all for internal narration on a solo book (hellooo, Bendis!),
but THREE narrators for a team book? Sometimes on the same page? This better be
the only issue he pulls this stunt in or I'm going to get 22 headaches next
month, one for each page of Meltzer dialogue/lettering (red and yellow text box?
Thanks for that...) I'll see in #1.
PATRICK: Well, I was wearing 3D glasses while reading that issue,
checking for void residue naturally, so I completely missed the red/yellow box,
but I'm sure Jimmy caught it, brother! Whatchagonnado? And I agree about the
narration, it does get confusing two-fold in just Superman Batman each month,
but I have faith that this was just for the zero issue. For the set-up.
W. DAL: I hope so. I was a little wary about
Meltzer coming onboard, to be honest. Everyone DC fan's got their favorite JLA
era, and mine was the Morrison run. Crazy adventure, mind-bending plots, EPIC.
Such fun stuff. Mostly because he bucked the then-prevalent trend of doing tons
of subplots and really getting at the feelings of all the characters. How could
he ignore that stuff and still make a great book? Because he realized that
*ahem* ALL THESE CHARACTERS HAVE SOLO BOOKS!
W. DAL: I get enough Batman monologue in his eleventeen monthly books,
PATRICK: Yeah, and I'm sick of Red Tornado always going on like, "Oh,
poor me, I'm just a machine." Oh, wait... he doesn’t HAVE a solo book. Nor Vixen
or Zatanna or Power Girl... but I get your point and agree as well, I was just
being an a$$.
W. DAL: Really? What a shock!
PATRICK: I really think Meltzer is an event writer and with the exception
of his Green Arrow arc, he seems to be. However, I worry about his ability to
craft long-term stories, or how to deal with the same characters for more than
six issues at a time.
PATRICK: With something like Identity Crisis, it was a huge story but all
the other DCU writers got to deal with the ramifications. Now we'll see how he
can do that on his own. Provided he's on the book long enough...
W. DAL: Yeah, but I think you hit the nail
on the head: focus on characters besides the "Magnificent 7". If Justice League
Unlimited taught us anything, it's that it's actually MORE fun to have teams
like Question-Huntress-Canary-Green Arrow or Flash-Lantern-Supergirl-Captain
Atom, you know? Don't copy what Morrison did, you're not that good. No one is.
Figure out HOW he did it, but make it your own. And I really do hope he can do
that. This issue didn't show it, but still.
PATRICK: See, now you've got me worried because I want this to be the DCU
version of the JLU cartoon, but I know it won't be and that makes me sad.
PATRICK: Next you'll tell me Aztek WON'T be on the new League.
W. DAL: Tch. Why would I lie like that? What
sort of League would it be without Aztek? More like Justice League of DUMBerica!
Ha! Score! Take that, James Joyce!
PATRICK: Yeah! Whoooo!
W. DAL: But before I took shots at
less-famous writers than myself, you'd said something about the JLU show. How
the hell did that become the defacto "perfect" line-up? Were the last 6 years of
comics really that dire? Oh. Wait. Yeah, they were.
PATRICK: It wasn't so much the perfect line-up so much as it had
EVERYBODY in it. Yes it started with their version of the 'Magnificent 7,'
simply adding Hawkgirl and John Stewart while subtracting Aquaman and Hal, but
they let everyone play in the JL sandbox. And that was so damn cool. Why have a
limited line-up? Have it be anyone in the DCU! Buuuut that's going far away from
an actual review of this particular issue...
W. DAL: Eh. I don't know that it is
off-topic. They're going to build a better League next month, we just want to
help. Isn't that what we do here? Help?
PATRICK: Yup. It's in my job description! "Help those I feel like at
those times what I see fit." Verbatim.
W. DAL: Brilliant. Then let's help them with
a two-part close to this week's Grahamtagonism. PART ONE! What d'you give this
8 Grahams. They'd have made 9 but the J. Scott Campbell 'Incentive' Cover was so
bad I wretched for an hour and a half straight. And I wound up puking out 1
whole Graham worth of a rating.
W. DAL: Yeah. That was Wildsiderz-ugly,
wasn't it? But aside from that, I'll give it a guarded
8 Grahams. As a first issue, a little underwhelming. As a zero issue, however,
pretty good. So I reserve the right to retroactively downgrade my grade if #1
isn't as well-rounded as J. Scott Campbell's absurdly curvy Wonder Woman.
W. DAL: PART TWO! Next issue sees the debut
of Meltzer's perfect 10-member League. If you could assemble a team of
absolutely anyone, who'd you pick? Go!
PATRICK: Aztek, the original Blue Devil, Firestorm, Hawkgirl, Red
Tornado, John Constantine, Doctor Who, Aztek again, Chase and Major Bummer.
W. DAL: I'd want a team that could handle
ANYTHING, so mine would be: Batman, Jesse Custer from Preacher, Senator Russ
Feingold, Jon Cryer, Jin from Lost (the character, not Daniel Dae Kim. DUH!),
Takeshi Miyazawa, Tom Brady, Adam McKay, the Dalai Lama and Kool-Aid Man. And as
alternates, Jack Bauer from 24 and Kate Bosworth.
PATRICK: My alternates are Fallon McErlean and your old 'mystery partner'
the Downers Grove stepladder!
W. DAL: There you have it! If Meltzer can't
include at least 80% of our combined lists, I'm setting DC staffers on fire at
Wizard World Chicago. You've been warned, Fletcher! 'Til next week, I'm off to
buy kerosene. Stay safe!
Jack Of Fables
artist TONY AKINS Signing!
Wednesday 7/26 at 4:00pm!
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