Fantastic Four First Family 5
Fury Peacemaker 6
Incredible Hulk 96
Last Planet Standing 5
Marvel Greatest Comics Fantastic Four 52
Marvel Team Up 22
Marvel Westerns Kid Colt
New Excalibur 9
Uncanny X-Men 475
Uncanny X-Men 475 Tan Incentive Sketch Cover
52 Week 9
All New Atom 1
Batman Secrets 5
Blood of the Demon 17
Detective Comics 821
Jonah Hex 9
Secret Six 2
Superman Batman 25 (2nd Print)
Teen Titans 37
Y The Last Man 47
Battler Britton 1
Manifest Eternity 2
Skye Runner 3
Art of the Witchblade
BPRD Universal Machine 4
Casefiles Sam & Twitch 24
Clive Barker’s Great & Secret Show 4
Conan & the Songs of the Dead 1
Dark Horse 20 Years
Death Jr. vol. 2 #1
Dragonlance Chronicles vol. 2 #1
Ed the Happy Clown 8
Friday the 13th Fearbook 1
Friday the 13th Jason vs. Jason X 2
Hack/Slash Slice Hard 25¢
Hate Annual 6
Local 1 (2nd Print)
Nightmare on Elm St. Fearbook 1
Ninja High School 139
Occult Crimes Taskforce 1
Texas Chainsaw Massacre Fearbook 1
Texas Chainsaw Massacre Grind 3
Tick Days of Drama 4
Transformers Evolutions Hearts of Steel 1
War of the Worlds Second Wave 4
Death Note vol. 6
Fools Gold vol. 1
Kanji de Manga vol. 4
Kingdom Hearts vol. 4
Old Boy vol. 1
One Piece vol. 11
Redrum 327 vol. 1
Rurouni Kenshin vol. 28
TRADES & HARDCOVERS
Batman City of Crime
Black Panther by Jack Kirby vol. 2
BPRD Black Flame
Comic Strip Jack Kirby vol. 1
Essential Official Handbook Marvel Universe Deluxe vol. 3
Fables vol. 7
Flight vol. 3
Invincible HC vol. 2
Real Ghostbusters vol. 3
Showcase Presents Elongated Man vol. 1
Superman Returns the Movie
Supreme Power Hyperion
They Found The Car
Top 10 Beyond the Farthest Precinct
Dr. Who 371
Jack Kirby Collector 46
Lee’s Toy Review 165
TV Zone 204
Betty & Veronica 219
Franklin Richards Super Summer Special
Justice League Unlimited 23
Looney Tunes 140
Marvel Adventures Spider-Man 17
Pals N Gals Double Digest 104
Pirates of the Caribbean Cinemanga vol. 1
Simpsons Super Spectacular 3
Angel 21” Vampire Puppet
Crisis on Infinite Earths Series 2
Marvel Dog Tag Key Chains
Marvel Dog Tags Necklaces
Marvel Light Pens
Women of the DCU Hawkgirl Bust
...12 reviews for 6 books for 1 event...
So there's these two guys,
DAL BUSH and
PATRICK BROWER. And they talk about 6 comic books
you just bought and read last week. Only, you won't know if you like them
or not until they tell you. And when they disagree, it's their own little
W. DAL: CIVIL WAR!
W. DAL: *cough*
W. DAL: Sorry. It's just so easy to get carried away! Marvel exploded a
whole mess of Civil War tie-ins on us this week, so we're going to help you pick
the shining Amazing Spider-Man's from the dull Thunderbolts. Who's side are WE
on? Quality's side, baby!
PATRICK: I'm sorry Mr. Bush, but I don't
believe your comments are government-approved or for that matter sponsored.
Please register your outbursts with your local government office before
attempting any public speaking. You will be trained in the art of open discourse
and only them will GRAHAMTAGONISM be sanctioned.
W. DAL: Lame! No thanks, Grampa! Maybe I don't want to live under your
PATRICK: In other words, shut yo mouf, fool!
W. DAL: Dang. Alright.
PATRICK: So let's start with dull first and
make our way to not-as-dull. First up...
PATRICK: Fantastic Four #538. Dull.
W. DAL: Fantastic Four! That's right, the "World's Greatest Comic
Magazine" sure choked this time out.
PATRICK: Action! Drama! Suspense! Intrigue!
None of those things and less!
PATRICK: Lucky Johnny Storm got to spend this issue in a coma--why didn't
I have that luxury?
W. DAL: This title had so much going for it: Reed's one of the architects
of the Pro-Registration side, plus Johnny got comatised (thank you, Quincy) in
Civil War #1. Man! JMS has so much on his plate! What do we get this month?
Yancy Street, plus 3 pages of hammer. Thor's hammer, but still...
PATRICK: Don't forget the pages of Reed &
Sue arguing and Ben Grimm reminding us that he's still Jewish.
W. DAL: If I wanted to know what the kids from Yancy Street thought of
registration, I'd go read their book. Oh, wait! They don't have a book 'cause NO
ONE CARES WHAT THEY THINK!
W. DAL: So I'm glad half an FF issue spotlights them.
W. DAL: Well, maybe once Civil War #3 comes out JMS'll get his stuff
straight. 'Til then, I can only give this time-waster
5 Grahams it is. Too many other books to review this week to get into the
lengths of lame that was FF so now we move on to...
W. DAL: ...wait for it...
W. DAL: Amazing Spider-Man! ...right?
PATRICK: It's a double-dose of JMS talkies
this week! Sorry Ron Garney--you get talking heads and street clothes! Yes! An
W. DAL: Yeah, for real. Not counting the fight scene with Mark Gruenwald
(WTF?), this is another navel-gazer from JMS. Remember when superheroes solved
their problems with violence? That was fun.
PATRICK: And why does this Sue Storm have a
whole different attitude to the Registration Act than she does in her own
book--it's the same writer!!!
W. DAL: This must that "Sue-Bot" that Reed's always going on about...
PATRICK: Yeah, I bet she doesn't argue with
her mouth full.
W. DAL: Ha ha! Ewww. To me, it's pretty obvious this is going to end up
with Peter regretting his decision. I mean, that's his thing. He's Spider-Man.
But couldn't we at least get ONE issue where he thinks he did the right thing?
Otherwise, it's not really much of an arc.
PATRICK: Way to subtly foreshadow it with
Peter threatening Tony. Also, someone needs to tell Garney that Aunt May stopped
wearing her hair in a bun 4 years ago.
W. DAL: Uh, actually, that's Reed's "May-Bot"...
PATRICK: ...oh god...
W. DAL: Eww! Okay! Moving on!
5 Grahams from me. So JMS averages a 5 for the week.
W. DAL: Eh.
5 Grahams as well. So much potential squandered
W. DAL: Now we start to move from the... not-good to the good. I was
straining for an analogy there. Didn't quite snag it. Hmm. Anyway, let's turn
our attention to...
PATRICK: New Avengers #21. The Cap issue.
The issue I, of all people, should love. Captain America AND The Falcon!
W. DAL: Wow. I'd actually put this one higher on the list. In spite of
the checkered past Bendis and I have had on New Avengers, I really dug this
PATRICK: Well, I didn't actually read it, so
you're on your own. However we can do Civil War Front Line #2 now and bump NA
W. DAL: Nah. I'm going to face your challenge, just like Cap would: WITH
INTROSPECTION! And fighting. I call "fightrospection".
PATRICK: I dig that as much as I dug the
W. DAL: There's one thing Brubaker eliminated in Cap that I totally agree
with, and that's the fact that Cap isn't one to talk about his feelings. Well,
he doesn't talk about them here either, but since a Bendis book without dialogue
is like a day without porn, Bendis shoves about 58 narration captions per page
as Cap internalizes his Civil War dilemma. But you know what? Cap's earned it in
W. DAL: Almost forgot! *slap*!
PATRICK: Yeah, the traditional Cap projects
his feelings with his fists, so he should just get to punch many, many things. I
had a joke about him & Sharon having nasty, violent 'the sex' but I ditched it.
Insert your own reference (jelly doughnut, etc.) here.
W. DAL: Uh, maybe later. I'l give this a surprising
8 Grahams if I never have to hear about Cap, Sharon
and 'the sex'.
W. DAL: Wow. Only half-way done. Thanks for spreading out the tie-ins,
Marvel! ******bags. So, X-Factor. I get the feeling we're going to split on this
PATRICK: While more of a Decimation tie-in,
I still dug this issue a lot. As an X-Factor issue. As a CW tie-in,
W. DAL: See, I'd stopped reading this book a few months back, so like
most people I picked up this one for a Civil War tie-in. And on that, it
completely didn't deliver for me. The Layla Miller stuff was fun, Quicksilver
should be a great guest-star (next month...) but the only CW stuff was about two
pages with half the cast. As you said, it's way more of a Decimation tie-in than
PATRICK: Wow, I can't believe you don't read
this anymore. It's a blast; a solid read every month. Dennis Calero does his
best-ever work this month and while not Ryan Sook, it's a good look and feel for
this gritty, noir book.
PATRICK: But yeah, a letdown for the casual CW fan--and shame on you if
W. DAL: I did like the art a little better than when I left, but I got my
fill of Peter David about 6 years ago, you know? But my real criticism is the
"CIVIL WAR" logo real big on the cover. To me, if you're going to brand
something as a "tie-in", AT LEAST half the book should be a tie-in. This one
wasn't, so on that level I've got to give it
8 Grahams for X-Factor but only
5 for the Civil War part.
PATRICK: And now I get to crap all over Civil War Front Line #2! Yes! I
bet you wanted Wolverine to be next, right?
W. DAL: Yeah, but just to boost sales on this column. You go ahead,
PATRICK: So in Civil War Front Line #2, I
had no idea until page 2 that the main character was Ben Urich. I thought the
Mole Man was now a copy vermin for the Daily Bugle.
PATRICK: I like Ramon Bachs but I don't like
his bookworm Urich, his portly Joe Roberston or his take on any other
established Marvel character.
PATRICK: And its yet another look at Spider-Man unmasking. Yes I know
it's a major point but this is, so far, the fourth book that has that scene as a
W. DAL: Yeah, but unlike Thunderblots, CW Frontline earns it! The book
takes place at the Daily Bugle!
PATRICK: And we already got JJJ's rant over
in Amazing. Here it is again, but different. But the same. Marvel treats this
story as if you don't need to read every part, which is fine, but everyone is
reading every part so this is all a waste of story space and my money.
W. DAL: Wow. Harsh. I actually liked this quite a bit. Ramon Bachs
artwork, never a favorite of mine either, feels a little more developed here. I
keep seeing flashes of Paul Pelletier, which is a good guy to start ape-ing. And
the story... I don't know. I love that there's three short stories in the issue,
and none of them wore out their welcome to me. The Spidey stuff, again, feels
crucial with so many Bugle people in this book. Is all this bitterness from you
because of the sad treatment of Prodigy?
W. DAL: I was a little surprised that Iron Man didn't take a hit off that
bottle Prodigy had before they fought, incidentally.
PATRICK: Shut up! You know I was an honorary
Slinger! It was Dusk, Ricochet, Prodigy, Hornet, Brick Wall, Chan the Immortal,
Furious George and Mantek! And at that point that bottle was all backwash--Stark
W. DAL: Plus, dude drinks
Cristal. Prodigy's probably got Night Train or something.
PATRICK: Actually I really like the
Speedball back up.
W. DAL: Yeah, the Speedball stuff is a nice departure from what I
expected for the character. I'll give this
8 Grahams, just to show you that I can.
PATRICK: Oh yeah? Well also 8 Grahams--minus
1! Oh, burn!
PATRICK: And we're mercifully just about done. Lastly, Wolverine #43.
Which I just read for this column.
W. DAL: Oh, The Wolverine. He's the best there is at what he does, and
what he does is appear in crossover events. But HOLD ON! This one's good! Unless
you've got an axe to grind with the artwork. Patrick?
PATRICK: *ahem* This is the first ever book
I've read by Mark Guggenheim. Too bad I have a huge bug up my @$$ in regards to
Humberto Ramos. Seriously, since when can Nitro stretch his neck? Look at that
cover for Satan's sake! Oddly I dig Greg Titus, Skottie Young, Paco Medina,
Carlos Barberi and Chris Bachello, but Sweet Suffering Super-Deformed Wolverines
this just bugs me! Yet he draws Iron Man fine in every panel, so he clearly
knows what human scale is, he just chooses to ignore it. If I didn't have to
read this book for this column (sorry New Avengers) I would have missed out on a
very faithful interpretation of The Wolverine by Mark Guggenheim, so thanks for
PATRICK: But I hate the art.
PATRICK: Really don't like it.
PATRICK: *sound of a man stepping off of a wooden soapbox*
W. DAL: Yikes. Okay. Well. I, uh, don't mind the art. When he's drawing
The Wolverine in costume, it looks better than half the artists Marvel has
drawing him (*cough*Deodato*cough*) and out of costume... The hair's a little
much, I'll give you. But for me it didn't detract from the story. But then, I
don't have my own soapbox...
W. DAL: Nah. I'll just give this
7 Grahams and watch your head explode. And... NOW!
PATRICK: ...wha? Sorry... My head's a dud...
just like Ramos' art.
8 Grahams for the story;
5 Grahams for the art.
W. DAL: Sweet Crisis-mas! That's a lot of friggin' crossover books. Let's
never do this again.
PATRICK: Seriously, never. Up yours, Marvel!
PATRICK: Be here next week for the GRAHAMTAGONISM Civil War crossover! In
it Spider-Man reveals he's really Batman and then reviews the Superman Returns
W. DAL: Plus... THINGS! Hurmm. Wow, again, I was trying for something but
I couldn't quite get there. Ugh. Go home, everybody! *sniff* DON'T LOOK AT ME!
ALL-NEW ATOM #1
All-New, yet by
John Byrne. Contradiction, anyone?
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