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Releases for the week of                
Wednesday,
June 28th, 2006

MARVEL
All New Official Handbook 6
Amazing Spider-Man 533 (CW)
Annihilation Ronan 3
Black Panther 17
Civil War Front Line 2 (CW)
Daredevil 86
Exiles 83
Fantastic Four 538 (CW)
Marvel Spotlight Gaiman/Larroca
Moon Knight 3
Moon Knight Directors Cut 1
New Avengers 21 (CW)
Nextwave Agents of H.A.T.E. 6
Runaways 17
Storm 5
Ultimate Spider-Man 96
Wolverine 43 (CW)
X-Factor 8 (CW)
X-Men 187
Young Avengers 12

DC
52 Week 8
Action Comics 840
Batman 654
Blue Beetle 4
Catwoman 56
Crisis Aftermath The Spectre 2
DCU Brave New World
Hawkgirl 53
Ion 3
JLA Classified 23
Solo 11 (Sergio Aragones)
Supergirl & Legion of Superheroes 19
Superman Returns Lois Lane
Warlord 5

DC/VERTIGO
Loveless 8
Lucifer 75

DC/WILDSTORM
American Way 5
Thunderbolt Jaxon 5

INDEPENDENT
Ant 6
Babel 2
Fathom 9
Forgotten Realms Dark Elf Sojourn 3
GI Joe vs. Transformers vol. 3 #3
Gold Digger Tangent 1
Gold Digger Thane of Shadows 2
Invincible 33
Last Christmas 2
Leading Man 1
Love the Way You Love 1
Necromancer 6
Negative Burn 2
Nightmare on Elm St. Paranoid 3
Polly & the Pirates 6
PvP 27
Savage Dragon 127
Sea of Red 11
Shonen Jump 44
Sidekick 1
Spawn 157
Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic 6
Starship Troopers 4
Tales of TMNT 24
TMNT 28
Texas Chainsaw Massacre Grind 3
Truth Justin & American Way 3
Usagi Yojimbo 94
Villains 2
Virgin Comics 0

MANGA TRADES
Lady Snowblood vol. 4
Path of the Assassin vol. 1
Tenjho Tenge vol. 8

TRADES & HARDCOVERS
Alan Moore Complete Future Shock
Big Big Overstreet Price Guide vol. 36
Conan & Demons of Khitai
Decimation Generation M
Down
Earth X (New Print)
Eternals by Jack Kirby HC
Fantastic Four by JMS vol. 1
Ghost Rider Road to Damnation HC
School Zone vol. 2
Southland Tales vol. 1
Supreme Power Nighthawk
Tarot tpb Vol. 4
Tarzan Joe Kubert Years vol. 3 HC
Wet Moon vol. 2

MAGAZINES
Angel Magazine 15
Dragon 345
G Fan 76
Heavy Metal Summer 2006
Juxtapoz 14.7
MARVEL PREVIEWS July 2006
PREVIEWS July 2006
Smallville 15
WIZARD 178

KIDS
Archie Double Digest 171
Avengers & Power Pack Assemble 3
Bart Simpson Comics 30
Betty 157
Cartoon Network Block Party 22
Sonic X 10
Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane 7
Teen Titans Go 32

TOYS
DC New Frontier Series 1


...this one will probably make Matt Streets cry...

GRAHAMTAGONISM!!

So there's these two guys, W. DAL BUSH and PATRICK BROWERAnd they talk about a comic book you just bought and read last week.  Only, you won't know if you like it or not until they tell you.  Let me give you a hint for this week: You won't like it.

PATRICK: What the heck, W. Dal? I already typed the entire Grahamtagonism by myself. Where were you? Oh, I must have gone soooo fast you missed it!

W. DAL: Typing a whole Grahamtagonism by yourself... who does THAT? Crazy people? Lonely people? Egotistical people? Naperville people? Fastest people alive?

PATRICK: Counter-Fastest people alive?

PATRICK: Whooooooosssshhhhhhhhhh!

W. DAL: Vroom. Ert! Not so fast, Fasty McRunsalot! We've got a book to discuss, and unfortunately, this week it's Flash: The Fastest Man Alive. Sorry.

PATRICK: Aw, geeez! Are you just getting back at me for ditching you the last 2 weeks? I'm sorry already! It was all work related! Don't make me discuss Flash!

W. DAL: Too late! DC made this bed, and now we have to spoon in it. And Sweet Illuminated Infantino did they leave us an ugly, ugly bed.

PATRICK: Seriously, like Fallon at Wizard World Philly, I'd rather just sleep on the floor.

PATRICK: So much for a return to greatness! So much for a riveting #1 issue that hooks you, reels you in and leaves you begging for issue #2!

PATRICK: After the events of Infinite Crisis, Bart Allen was once again aged, this time 4 years to age 20, and he was de-powered. Wally West is just gone. Barry Allen is still dead. Johnny Quick? Max Mercury? Forget 'em both. Only Jay Garrick has the speed and even he is no longer connected to the Speed Force. The Speed Force as we know it no longer exists.

PATRICK: So in Flash #1, 1 Year Later, a 20-year old Bart Allen is de-powered. Wally West is just gone. Barry Allen is still dead. Johnny Quick? Max Mercury? Still forgotten. Only Jay Garrick has the speed and even he is no longer connected to the Speed Force. The Speed Force as we know it no longer exists.

PATRICK: Huh. Reallly hooks ya, don't it?


W. DAL: Yeah. I'm sorry, did you say "bores the Speed Force out of you" or "hooks"? 'Cause... yikes. It's not like Flash was a book that had a lot of goodwill left to spend. After the brilliant Johns run, DC fleeced the remaining fans with a horrific 3-issue stint by superstar EDITOR Joey Cavalieiri! WHOO! Man, I can't imagine how DC followed him! What's bigger than a DC EDITOR? Only one thing, baby! The producing team that brought you a TV series from over 10 years ago! Awesome!

W. DAL: AND they did "Viper"? How does DC keep making these A-list deals?

W. DAL: BUT WAIT!

W. DAL: Let's pair them up with... wait for it... wait for it... oh man is Marvel going to be jealous.... KEN! LASHLEY! Take that, Joe Mad and Ed McGuiness! SUPER BURN!


PATRICK: Hey, for once you didn't burn Jimmy, yourself or me. Nice.

PATRICK: But yeah, nothing, nothing, nothing about this book: 1) Makes me want more. 2) Rings true to the previously established personalities of the characters involved. 3) Justifies ANY type of push or hype surrounding it.

PATRICK: I love it when a brand new #1 needs a team of inkers to come out a week late.


W. DAL: And a colorist who clearly wants to be drawing the book herself. Atrocious. She is to colorists what Klaus Janson is to inkers. Not that Ken Lashley is really any good (see 52 #7 for further proof, kids) but no one deserves to have their work smothered like this. Look at those opening pages! What possessed DC to let this go out the door? Is editor Joan Hilty working undercover for Marvel or is she trying to kill me?

PATRICK: I heard that if you hold pages #2 & #3 open to direct sunlight and spin them around profusely, small children in Japan have seizures.

W. DAL: Those lucky Japanese kids. They don't have to keep reading it, then.

W. DAL: I don't mean to be this negative. I mean, this isn't that badly written. And art-wise, I can tell asses from elbows, so that works. But good lord, is this so much worse than it should've been. This team is barely competent enough to be doing a C-list book like a re-launch of "Dial H For HERO," not one of DC's most recognizable icons. Is there seriously no one better at DC to handle this? Who does their hiring, Satan? Why else would we be punished like this?


PATRICK: Do you remember the press piece (see "IE") for this book that said whoever is the Flash at the end of issue #1 is not who the Flash will be? So, not Jay? This is a surprise? Is Bart supposed to be the Flash? What? I so don't even care.

W. DAL: I hope they mean that the Flash comic won't be bad in issue two. Much like an episode of Grahamtagonism, they don't have a whole lot of time to make it good...

PATRICK: Remember Tina McGee from S.T.A.R. Labs? Sure ya do, she's from that awesome TV show! Well kids, here she is again... in passing... looking completely different than she used to.

PATRICK: Where's the wacky Rasta sidekick? Can't remember his name because I've blocked it from my memory. Bet ya the first villain is the Trickster!

PATRICK: And what a wonderful character Bart's new roommate is. Not a cliché AT ALL!


W. DAL: There's just nothing about this creative team that makes any sense! "Hey, let's get the guys who did the TV show to write it! That'll make fans happy!" Why would it? What Flash fan looks at the TV show as the definitive version of that character? It was lousy! Jesus, if a tangental relationship to the Flash property is all it takes, why not get Amanda Pays to write it? She played Dr. McGee AND she works cheap, which feels like a prerequisite for this comic...

W. DAL: Wait. Maybe that's it.


PATRICK: What, Heinberg and Dodson took all their bankroll for re-launches?

W. DAL: Maybe DC refused to bring the Flash comic back unless it could be produced for under $100. Then the hiring makes PERFECT sense! We did it! We figured it out!

PATRICK: Whoo hoo! Maybe if we agree to not tell anyone, WE'LL get a new #1 as well!

PATRICK: AZTEK, here we come!!!


W. DAL: Sweet! Alright, before start our pitch for that, let's wrap up this pile from DC. Final score?

PATRICK:
 
5 Grahams because it didn't explode in my face and I had somewhere to put my gum when I was finished chewing it. And because the lettering was fine.

W. DAL:
 
  4 Grahams for being not just bad, but BAFFLINGLY bad. Like someone had to work at it being this bad.

W. DAL: Ah, well. If we could get past Brian Augustyn on the Flash (The mystery Flash was Wally... from five minutes in the future. With a scar. Yes, really) then I guess we can get past this. Hopefully. Maybe DC will sink into the ground and a better editor will put out something worth reading. What do you think, too negative?


PATRICK: Can you be too negative? If everyone is always positive we'll get stuck with more crap like Flash The Fastest Man Alive. Can we review Moon Knight #3 next week? You know a non-top tier character by creators famous for another media? Only it's really good?

W. DAL: Christ, yes please. That's what's so weird. Moon Knight did almost the same thing that Flash did: a writer (or writers) that hadn't done comics getting a big launch. But Moon Knight is PHENOMENAL, while Flash... not so much. How does Marvel do it? Oh, I know. They probably read something from Charlie Huston. Maybe if DC had done that with Bilson and DeMeo...

W. DAL: Oh, my God. We'll be talking about this all week. Come back next week for reviews of, most likely, the 3 dozen Civil War tie-ins coming out. And none of them feature work by the Flash "creative" team! Woo hoo!


MOON KNIGHT #3
So Freakin' Good!

Marvel Comics

Links to previous weeks releases:
NEW 06/21/2006
NEW 06/14/2006
NEW 06/07/2006
NEW 06/01/2006
NEW MAY 06
NEW APRIL 06
NEW MARCH 06
NEW FEBRUARY 06
NEW JANUARY 06
NEW DECEMBER 05
NEW NOVEMBER 05


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